How and why one acts in a particular way? As per ancient Indian wisdom, it is our dosha (Vata, Pitta, and Kapha) which determine that and it gets strengthened by food. Criticism destroys everything. When I'm stepping out with my family, the next few hours of interaction is completely determined by the way I start the journey. 'Need to be right' of one person affects another person's 'self-esteem'. If I start the journey with some harsh criticism, that mood will prevail throughout the outing time.
In communication, there should be 'real listening, real sense of having an insight as we go along, each second, not at the end, but at the beginning', as K says. 'The important thing here is, not to finish out a theoretical construction but rather to attend to the right beginning point so that we do not go beyond where we haven't yet begun'. Words carry emotions and feelings. If one is not at peace at anytime, it will show when one communicates. The 'harsh criticism', instead of being 'harsh' and 'criticism', could be communicated differently, as K points out.
It is the 'blueprint', acting as my action, decides the results of my daily-life. Change agent is food .....one is not free at all....every one is in such a journey with all kinds of perked-up feelings, no reasoning can work .... silence only can touch others...it only can impact others....it only can restrict my activities to relevant and apt... 'real sense of having an insight as we go along, each second, not at the end, but at the beginning' is being related.......problem is the solution.... how we act facing the problem is the solution...action at every instant is the solution....continuity of word and thought is the problem ..... break-it ...keep breaking the word and thought....
An instant (ஷணம்) is a cumulative/collated contribution from every particle; live, dynamic contribution from me, others and all. Continuity is the issue/non-reality; continuity brings in a person and division. Between two instants, we bring in this continuity, through thinking and talking. Design is in such away that we either eat or talk or think. Eating strengthens the dosha and in turn makes us act in a certain way; talking gives continuity and creates a person; thinking gives continuity and creates a person;
We think or talk or eat. Trouble arises when we talk and when we act on our thinking; All the three, thinking, talking and eating lead to continuity and a person flows from that and the division.
Being in Macro, instead of ruinously getting locked-up in any micro irritants, that is 'in instants' without the continuity, opens up so much OTHER opportunities.
இந்த ஷணத்தில், சில நொடித்துளிகளே வாழும் அணு முதல், அகண்ட பிரபஞ்சம் வரை, ஆக்க நிலயில் உள்ளது. ஆக்க நிலை உணர்வு நிலை. ஆக்க நிலையில் பொருட்கள் இல்லை. பொருட்கள் நிலை நினைப்பு நிலை. ஆக்க நிலையில் தொடக்கமும் இல்லை முடிவும் இல்லை. அடைய வேண்டுயது எதுவும் இல்லை. ஆக்க நிலையில், பொருள் நிலை சொற்களுக்கு, விளக்கமும் இல்லை.
CRITICISMS DESTROY EVERYTHING: Whatever is happening to us is determined, shaped and results from our actions only? Is it true from our experiences? When I'm stepping out with my family, the next few hours of interaction is completely determined by the way I start the journey, whether I say something unpleasant or talk about something pleasant; if i shout at somebody, that mood will prevail for the next 30 mts; my quality of relationship in tacel case has determined whether i get the fees or not. Even in instances, where there is delay or some wrongdoing, my anxious action is not going to fetch a positive response; there also, action coming out of quiet and holistic demeanor will get holistic response.
NEED TO BE RIGHT & SELF-ESTEEM...'Protecting self-esteem' being quite a natural and instantaneous function, frequently comes across another dominant function 'need to be right', damaging relationships permanently: If all our experiences are so contingent and dependent, what is so great about all the achievements (it is totally dependent on how one acts)? Highly primed machine will achieve the same! The 'blueprint' is kept alive by the food. And it determines how I approach an instance; which in turn decides the result. My entire fate is totally determined by my action at a given moment, how I talk, how I visualize, how I contemplate on an issue, nature of my energy, whether it is positive or negative, whether it is calm & quiet or agitated, whether I am anxious. whether i am distracted by my agitated state.
This is my experience, this is what happens to me day-in-day out. All these years, my life with my family is resulting one and only from this, never ever my underlying love was a factor in determining how they respond and reciprocate back to me. This is how it goes; this is the reality. The 'blueprint', is carried in 'me' all the time, kept vibrant and alive by the food, exhibits in all my actions, in my nature. As explained above, it is the nature of my action which decides the result, that is my action decides my daily-life; so, it is the 'blueprint', acting as my action, decides the results of my daily-life.
SILENCE & FOOD: How I behave and what I get out of every moment (as it is totally related to my behaviour) is determined by food? (உடம்பில் மூன்று முடிச்சுகளும் சூரியகலை சந்திரகலையாகிய இருநாடிகளும் பாம்புபோல் பின்னிக் கிடக்கின்றன,,,,,,,p377 of Thirumanthiram Volume 1 by G Varadharajan). Prakriti, பிராணன் and food determine everything. Change agent is food. Till one realizes this, one’s life is led by prakriti and prakriti is kept alive by praanan and food......it fits in to the overall schematic...butter-fly-effect....not bound by logic or rational....one is not free at all....when one is in such a journey with all kinds of perked-up feelings, no reasoning can work.... silence only can touch others...it only can impact others....it only can restrict my activities to relevant and apt...
CHAOS THEORY & BUTTERFLY EFFECT: Suddenly, it occured to me that even my particular thought is imposed and I'm not thinking that. Could it be a very dynamic mechanism? Yes, it is. AS THERE IS NECESSITY FOR THE BALANCE IN ENERGY, it could be brought about only with the help of particular thoughts which makes our action possible? When 56th impact of the billiard ball is having the influence of every elementary particle of the universe, consequence of even a nano movement from us is monumental. (On one side, our relationship is completely dependent on our communication, every word & gesture have a bearing. That way, our daily life is totally determined by what we say to each other. So, whatever be the underlying factors, the relating parties are acting only from this abstract reality/space/domain developed between them. On the other part, the physical-link, feeling, relationship is there. Irrespective of this, our daily relating will be determined only by the unique abstract domain. The temporary abstract characteristic, which carries the impact of every element in the universe, is assumed to be permanent by both relating parties. This is dynamic inter-play of permanent and temporary entities.)
DANCE OF SHIVA...WORDLY-CONSCIOUSNESS: Every elementary particle of the universe is impacting every single action. So, the behavior of anybody relating to me, and my behaviour too, are manifestations of that impact. This is his temporary persona; his permanent persona is different, which is evolving all the time. But, I relate only to the temporary persona, similarly he also relate only to my temporary persona. So, in spite of the absolute relationship in existence always, relating happens only between these temporary personas. When I think of the other person, it is only the temporary persona; similarly he also thinks the same way, because that persona only is addressed/related-to in relating. But, in non-relating state, both are their real-self; in relating-state, while I relate to the other temporary-persona, other person relates to my temporary-persona. SO, IN RELATING, ONLY TEMPORARY PERSONAS ACT, WHILE REAL-SELF IS IN SUSPENDED-STATE.
(he has seen how much I struggled to meet his commitment; next day, ஒரு துளி நன்றி இல்லாமல் he is relating and responding aggressively to me. Is 'he' really acting? What does this mean? Relating has such a structure where real-facts are completely overshadowed and something else is operating). (It starts innocuously on a minor pointing out; why the guitar is not returned?; somehow, it escalates; as the abstract-pointing-out is extended, continued with back-and-forth arguments, it moves from real-person to abstract-person).
Words can only communicate very very little; in relating, as we act as a total person and say something, all the time implying we're acting as a total person, the other person is ONLY listening to the words said; and responding ONLY to that; I'm listening ONLY to the words and my words also may be just words. As this happens back-and-forth, words spoken and heard don't have any impact from the deep relationship. So, while both are under the impression, they're communicating as total beings with all that age-long relationship, what is communicated and heard is ONE & ONLY words.
In relating, words spoken and heard are taken as the persons, without realizing that the words, getting life and face of their own, only act. The words are different from the persons; words have life and world of their own; words, as spoken, move further and further away from the person.
Does it mean we should avoid conversation in any relationship? If one is serious while conversing, caught deeply in words, relating is between words. Otherwise, if one is casual, little playful, relaxed, exhibiting state of openness, not sticking to what one said, willing to look at alternatives, being fine with different points of view, willing to look at other options without set agenda, one can converse without getting caught in words.
Getting lost in details.....preoccupied with minor irritants relentlessly and frequently, losing the big picture and the larger target. While relating, need to be aware that we continue to be caught and may be operating from there, one or both of you. There are so many positives and few negatives.....but when criticized, it appears that we are only aware of the negatives....WE HAVE SEEN SO MANY TIMES, TODAY'S NEGATIVE TURNING OUT TO BE TOMORROW'S BLESSING.
Everything is perception. If you look at something seriously, with gloominess and perceived negative outcome, the approach pulls you down emotionally and makes you gloomy, irritable, angry, etc. If you look at casually, with lightness, without classifying, then even a major issue can be approached with light-heartedness, joy and peace.
Face the problems with joy, happiness, light-heartedness. That is the state of peace. Problems keep coming to bring about the state of peace. So, how can i complain about anything? The problems are there with a noble purpose, it is also part of the energy.
Any point in the 'total energy' is the centre; this body also is the centre and is equipped to feel (உணர்). அதை முழுவதும் உணர்ந்தவர்களை அறிவோம். அந்த முழு சக்தியை உணர்ந்து கொண்டுஇருக்கிறோம். ஆனால், உணர்வதை உணராமல் ஊழில் உழன்று கொண்டு இருக்கிறோம்.
MAY BE GOOD NOT TO HAVE LONG CONVERSATION AT ALL, have only twitter-size-conversation.
"முழுவதும் உணர்ந்தவர்களை அறிவோம். அந்த முழு சக்தியை உணர்ந்து கொண்டுஇருக்கிறோம். ஆனால், உணர்வதை உணராமல் ஊழில் உழன்று கொண்டு இருக்கிறோம். "
Relating needs interaction. உணர்ந்து கொண்டு இருக்கும் பொழுது, for that unarvu to continue, our communication through words have to be minimalistic. Casual approach may bring about that. A senior academician pointed out that students these days don't get up to welcome teachers or get up when receiving something from the teacher. It occurred to me that may be these physical actions interrupt our wordly-consciousness and help to bring us back to physical-consciousness. What I was trying to communicate for 2 years with repeated painful failures was achieved with a massive and (controlled)violent physical-jolt recently. Does it communicate the periodic need for conscious physical activity?
THE DIFFICULTY IS BECAUSE PRESENTLY WE ARE ACTING FROM THIS ASSUMED BODY, NOT THE UNIVERSAL BODY. That is why we keep falling back all the time to this body-consciousness.
When we are living in this wordly-world, wordly-reality, when all our academic, professional, career and social achievements are for this wordly-reality (whatelse is this for?), when the meaning of this wordly-reality, its pleasures and problems, is to realize this wordly-reality, when we see that even this wordly-reality, particularly these problems, are necessary for this realization, then the problems also become integral part of the reality and not apart from it.
Path is the truth..... cause is the effect.... problem is the solution.... means is the end....... we're reaping the harvest, not planting the seed.... every instant, whether it is a thought or action, has every particle playing in it.... even if we act as if we're separate, when every instant has every particle as participant, we become every elementary particle of the universe..... then where is the separation..... there is no end... beginning is the end..... no result.... no achievement..... every step is an end itself.... every moment is complete.... every instant is holistic...sacred...